Stepping Into School
POOF! Just like that the Summer holidays are over!
So is it the first day of nursery? First day of Kindergarten? First day of Primary, Middle, High School??
Maybe it is their first day of College or University?
Were you crying into your hankie as they made their way into the classroom or did you leave skid marks in the car park as you sped off for a Starbucks in peace??
Are your kids all spit and polished with perfectly matching accessories and packed lunches that would put Jamie Oliver to shame? An investment in Smiggle stationary that could buy a small house and a calm glow as you all leave the house in the morning?
Or……are you all falling out of the door with screams of “Get your shoes on!” ‘I don’t know where it is….where did you put it?” and “No….you can’t take Ice Cream for a snack!”
If you are the latter, don't worry, I got you!
There is so much information out there, tips and tools as to how we should live our lives “right” and how to be more organised however…..it is not a one size fits all!
You see the best practises for you and your family will only come to the surface once you peel back a few layers and explore a little more about yourself and what makes you tick.
Starting with the understanding of our Six Human Needs.
Here is an example:
I am extremely routine orientated, systematic and methodical and so being organised is easy for me, the downside is that if my routine and organisation is interrupted with an unexpected maintenance issue, illness, bump in the road, I can be reactive. I find myself feeling stressed and anxious, however through my personal development journey I have identified this and the best ways to help myself during these times.
This above makes sense because my Driving (main) Human Need is Certainty.
My friend on the other hand is spontaneous, easy going, flies by the seat of her pants which is great, however getting the kids into a routine for school can be problematic. Therefore tools to assist in some routine help her and her family stay on track. This also helps the kids develop a bit more independence as schedules and planners give them a visual aid to assist in getting out the door in the mornings.
Her Driving (main) Human Need is Variety.
So what are the Six Human Needs??
THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS
We each have six human needs and we each have a Driving (main) human need which varies from person to person. They are:
Certainty
Variety
Significance
Love and Connection
Growth
Contribution
Understanding these needs and what your Driving Human Need is can help create a smooth running household where everyone participates (most of the time!)
Once identified (the first step in the Stepping Into Parenthood online course is a quiz to help you do just that! Cool right!?) it is then a question of implementing the supporting tools in your daily lives.
What do you do whilst the kids are at school?
Are you working? Studying? At home with younger siblings? Living your best life?
What I am really asking is are you contributing to your own Growth?
Are you utilising the school hours and looking after your own needs?
When school is done for the day is it a scene from a Hallmark movie or more like Shameless??
As parents it helps if we bring our calm game to the table. When our behaviours and reactions match and antagonise those of these little people who are tired, hungry (so hungry!) and need to fallout from the structure of the school day then carnage can ensue right!?
THE IMPACT OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AS A PARENT
The last five years have seen me identify and understand my own thoughts, emotions and behaviours which has had an impact on my parenting. Like most of us, I can still have my buttons pushed (no claims of perfection here my friend!) however I find that I am more tolerant, less reactive and better at communicating with my son when he displays typical behaviours expected from a child and so limiting the escalation that can so often occur from these situations.
I am not a parenting coach, I do not help you to raise your kids, I coach parents, the domino effect of this is pretty cool, it is a bit like getting the kids coached for free!
We live in a world where we are witness to a significant amount of comparison, on tv, social media and other external influences, this does not stop at our kids. The birthday parties, the clothes,the toys, the ever advancing technologies, the after school activities, it can all become overwhelming.
My advice? Take a step back, take it back to basics.
Understanding yourself, the unique dynamics of your family and what makes you all happy will see you skipping out that door in the mornings as you head off for another day at school!
If you would like to chat further, get in touch, schedule your free consultation, grab a coffee, get comfy and jump on a zoom call with me.
Stepping Into Parenthood is the online program for you and your family to identify and meet your own human needs.
Print off and personalise the worksheets to help take you from Shameless to Hallmark!
https://thescottishsoulsister.thinkific.com/
See, I told you I Got You!
Nikki x